juz came back from the market...... well, everyone's drifting apart...... don't u think i noe tt!!! i'm not as slow as u think i am........ it's not as easy for me u noe.... i juz got out from a relationship which i thought was gonna really, really work out....after all da shit tt happened. hey n u noe wat, i've never really felt this way before..... it's really a different feeling. maybe you wouldn't understand..... nevermind....enough said..... i'm trying....going out wit ma frens will be a distraction. but wat to do.......everyone's busy wit their lives..... well, i gotta be independent once in awhile.... i miss you. tc.

skool was boring today. most of us the K SISTAZ had this fucked up look on our faces. STRESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i don't wanna get involve. i have ENOUGH on ma mind!!! GOD PLEASE HELP ME OUT.... enough is enough. SOMEONE, WHOM I LOVE VERY, VERY MUCH TALKED SOME SENSE INTO MA HEAD. i gotta thank her for that. i've been too lenient and soft to others. it's high time that i learn to be firm wit my decisions! ya man......been too quiet all the time. i swear to GOD that i'm gonna blow up one of these days. i'm not kiddin'!! GOD save the first person man. coz it's not gonna be a pretty sight. today is the last day of school. i'm kinda glad. i've planned to study and score well. n i can do it. i haven't been spending much time wit ma beloved familia... been puttin ma frends first...been neglecting mi familia. so, so, so sorry mama, boboy, kakak enny, nadya...... ya'll the only ones that i have till the end of time. luv ya'll very much. more than life itself. there's nothing like having a home. though it's been on da rocks, we pulled it through rite? i promise not to let ya'll down. i'll be good again. i'll try to cut down on smoking. mama...like u always say to me...if there's a will, there's a way... i'll never forget that. i'm gonna go shopping for ma speech presentation tmr. at town....where else.... and i'm gonna drop by starbucks raffles city. i'm gonna meet rockey tmr. yeay!!! well, this will help me forget ice.... actually, it's helping...it's kinda like a distraction for me.... do stuff... keep myself occupied. i'm gonna look for heels only. coz my cousin will be getting married in june. so might as well look for it now since i'm having ma speech presentation this monday. maybe a top tt's all.... need to budget myself.. haha.. aite, i'm gonna give tuition now. be nice! i've had enough wit everyone's shit!

my class was at 11am yesterday.. went to class for barely an hour as i received a call from my mom. she informed tt my maternal grand uncle passed away.... after tt call, i was finding ways to inform harvey, my lecturer. finally, i did. he let me off coz the burial was gonna be at 1pm. i rushed out took a bus there. i was in super casual wear.. i was the only one at the funeral dressing in that manner. well, usually if i need to attend a funeral, i'll be wearing baju kurung to show respect... but yesterday was kinda of sudden, i had no time to go home and change. i followed to the cemetry. after which, i went to plaza sing alone. i sat at STARBUCKS COFFEE and had caramel frappucino wit extra caramel topping. i sat there like a lost soul. but it did me something good. i started thinking...although i was depressed. every single moment came rushing back to ma head... but it's ova now..i've got to move on in life. my mom adviced me tt there's no point in being sad ova guys like him....eventhough it hurts a lot.... sha said we've got to learn the hard way in order to get something done right. oh ya btw, she told me to return him his okley shades. as it's not mine. well... i will...one fine day...hahaha!! i sat there till 630 pm, before my sis joined me..... but she left at 7 for class...then, i decided to visit rockey at her work place at raffles city. i chilled there till 930pm... my sista and her bf joined me again... we chilled at STARBUCKS RAFFLES CITY this time round. and there, he was, this cute young guy who served us! and i had my usual, caramel frappucino wit xtra caramel.... haha.. being her typical self, my sista purposely reminded the guy tt i wanted xtra caramel topping...n she added it's for this young sweet gal---she pointed towards me!! i was blushing. but yes, i have to agree that he is cute. well-mannered and all... i noe tt my sis was juz trying to help....all sha was trying to do is make me feel better. thank you sis...i was smiling all the way home. actually, surprisngly, it made my day. haha...it looks as though, i'll be hanging out there quite often.....haha....maybe, maybe not...we shall see. aite. that's all peeps. i need a break. maybe wash my eyes will do me good...haha at raffles city!!! cheers

All alone on a Sunday morning
Outside I see the rain is falling, whoa oh..
Inside I'm slowly dying
But the rain will hide my crying, crying, crying
And you
Don't you know my tears will burn the pillow
Set this place on fire
'Cause I'm tired of your lie
All I needed was a simple "Hello"
But the traffic was so noisy that you could not hear me cry
(I) I gave you my love in vain
My body never knew such pleasure,
My heart never knew such pain
And you, you leave me so confused...
Now I'm all cried out, over you

wat did i do today....well, i went to skool at noon. went for a smoke wit erin and a few of ma 3rd year seniors..... erin left for home and went for ma editing. ma mind wasn't at ease.. all i could think about was ice..... actually, i juz reached home.... haiz...this is da last week of skool... i have my last presentation for speech on monday.... i need to complete ma flash assignment for webc and ma marketing exam is on the 3rd of may...... it cuts like a knife... and ma heart is terribly hurt. he hasn't called yet...... GOD why must it be me....???????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i've gone through enough shit! what have i done to deserve all this crap??!! my darling you.....haiz....how could you do this to me? hurhur................................

hey...i haven't been updatin' ma blog for more than a month... well... wat can i say....i was busy wit skool and ma computer crashed. nway, i'm updatin' it now.... i'm kinda relieved now. ma med soc and bauhaus final projects are ova!! i should be happy rite...? don't ya peeps thinks so? but haiz......i can say tt ma life is screwed up at this point of time. everthin' is goin' not as planned... as for ma K SISTAZ, ya gals should know wat i'm talkin' about. fucked up!!!!!! i'm all cried out..... gals, i'm still hopn'..... this is so, so unfair......all i need in this life of sins is me n ma girlfriends, down to ride to da very end..is still me n ma girlfriends. i need a miracle. i can't get over da feelin'. i've never felt this way before... never, never!! guess wat, i'm playin' emo songs at this very moment as i'm typin' away. i feel that i don't deserve this shit at all. why should i? i'm juz so foolish as to give ma heart in vain. here we go again....erin will always say tt i'm naive.....n stuff...haiz... inoe i hv to move on but all i think about is him...i miss him...i am so tempted to holla him but....haiz... he's got a new life now.... it's been too long n i'm lost without you, what i'm gonna do, said i been needing you...i'm wanting you. i try not to cry...but it's juz so hard to hold back da tears.... i'm so confused and hurt....all i need is a simple hello....at least have da decency to holla me rite.. n not make me wait n wonder.