it's raining heavily outside ma window...... it's a good day to sleep. cuddle under ma comforter....how nice....but here i am bloggin'.... i was actually studying but there are a lot of things in ma mind.... so i decided to side track for awhile. nway, i'm in not in a very good mood today....... juz like da weather...haha. inject a little humour to it. tt's besides da point. i am never da type to start an argument or some sort like tt. i've always been da quiet one who doesn't have a lot to say to anything.... but tt doesn't mean tt i don't have anything to say or have any opinions in mind.... or i'm juz this blur girl who gives this blur n dumb face. i purposely do that cause i'm just tired to layan you peeps.... i'm not here to brag or to have hatred against someone. but da the time spent alone made me realize a lot of things. tt also got me thinking too. i don't like to bear any grudges. i like to settle problems there and then and not drag the case. See..... there a lot of things that you peeps out there don't know about me. never assume things. but then, i have many wonderful friends out there..... but there's only this one person that i've been confiding feelings and things t0...... don't take da drift as the end of our friendship. it's not ova yet. da drift is juz a period of thinking and realization. KEEP THAT IN MIND! i thank ya for all da times you've been there for me. but da some things you do kinda hurt me indirectly.... never got da strength to tell ya all this....as i know that you'll NEVER take it well! i've seen that far t0o many times gal. coz you'll always want things to go your way.... that sort of things. like i said ppl have limits.... n yes, you haven't seen ma limits yet.... coz you're da only one that has been exploding all da time... i tried to be as patient as possible. but ya....ma wire snapped! i'm neither here to pick a fight nor start something unpleasant.... juz wanna let you know how i feel and that try to realize it yourself. coz i'm no longer 8 years old but i'm gonna turn 18 this year. so i don't wanna have childish and foolish games. all of us have to solve it like adults. tc. you'll always be ma friend. but if you wanna see and take this differently, that is your choice. i'm juz here as fren....

P.S: i have a lot to say actually. but face-to-face talk is much betta. blogging is not as satisfying....
stupid blog!!! it's supposed to be dated 30th April!!!!! not 29th April!!!! argh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

rock, i totally agree wit ya!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! yup,everyone has limits, so don't push it!! nway, enough said bout' tt.... i'm supposed to go for editing today. it's from 10am to 4pm.... but ma lovin' and considerate crew, told me i don't have to come at all. they want me to study for ma marketing exam which is this saturday. i feel bad though..... but they said it's fine wit 'em. they don't want me to fail. so sweet of 'em rite? thx guys..... nway, i'm kinda reading ma txtbk rite now.....haha...surprised eh? btw.....i'm kinda bored....yesterday, before i met rock, i bumped into someone...... he put a smile on ma face...... we didn't talk long though..... he was wit his latest girlfriend....i understand how he feels..... he smsed me when i got home.....he was at a friend's chalet...... n he asked whether if it's ok if he take me out after ma exam...... n i told him i can't promise him.....i told him tt he's attached now..... wat would his present gf think rite? even though, we shared something in da past..... we have to move on..... n he replied by saying we have a lot catchin' up to do......i will never forget you......you were ma 1st.... we had somethin' goin on together..... i miss u..... n i replied..... i understand how you feel but u gotta let her noe if you're really takin me out aite? i don't wanna coz any trouble here. i'm chillin' ya noe.... he said ok... actually he told his gf about me already....tt sounds like ice!! haha...why does all ma x have da same characteristics???? tt's why i luv 'em.... haha...i've got to move on. yes, life is short n i 've got to live it to da fullest! haha...i got to go now.....i'm gonna go out. peace peeps! remember, don't push limits!

i went to town yesterday. met up wit dre, rock n jon. da starbucks raffles city guy wasn't workin' yesterday.haiz...... nevermind, coz we can always chill there during our holidays. haha!! i'm lookin' forward to chillin'. haha. we went to taka n finally, chilled at far east. alicia joined us. n not after, dre n rock had to leave. actually, i was havin a terrible headache...... erin joined me n jon at taka(we actully walked back there)......in the end, erin n i chilled at esplanade till this morning..... haha....we relieve wat happened last semester...all da crazy things we did.....talked abt ice......living me confused.....unattended.......she said tt sani (erin's current bf) would luv to beat him up when he bumps into ice in tampines...... thks! haha!! a bit piece of ma mind was given. we chilled n fell asleep..... guess wat?! sani actually cycled wit his freinds from tampines to esplanade!!!!! the things guys do for their girlfriends!! haha. you go sani boy!!!! TAKE FULL CARE OF HER AITE????!!!!!!!!!!!! aite..i'm gonna get stuff for speech later...... i'm exhausted.....hope tt the guy is working today!!!

below, is a song by christina milian, titled until i get over you

Woke up today thinking of you
Another night and I made my way through
So many dreams still left in my mind
But they it never come true
I press rewind
I remember when
I close my eyes and I’m with you again
But in the end I can still feel the pain
Every time I hear your name

Chorus
The sun won’t shine since you went away
Seems like the rain’s falling every day
There’s just one heart, where there once was two
That’s the way it’s gotta be,
‘til I get over you…
[you...........]

Walked through the park, in the evening air
I heard a voice and I thought you were there
I run away but I just can’t escape
Memories of you everywhere
They say the time will dry the tears
But true love burns for a thousand years
Give my tomorrows for one yesterday
Just to know that I could have you here

Chorus

[till i get over....... you...]

Bridge
When will this river of tears stop fallin’
Where can I run so I won’t feel alone
Can’t walk away when the pain keeps callin’
I’ve just gotta take it from here on my own
But it’s so hard to let go .....
[oh no no no]
[oh no no]
Chorus

[you.........................]
[you.........................]
thats the way its gotta be until i get over you
[until i get over....you.....]

juz came back from the market...... well, everyone's drifting apart...... don't u think i noe tt!!! i'm not as slow as u think i am........ it's not as easy for me u noe.... i juz got out from a relationship which i thought was gonna really, really work out....after all da shit tt happened. hey n u noe wat, i've never really felt this way before..... it's really a different feeling. maybe you wouldn't understand..... nevermind....enough said..... i'm trying....going out wit ma frens will be a distraction. but wat to do.......everyone's busy wit their lives..... well, i gotta be independent once in awhile.... i miss you. tc.

skool was boring today. most of us the K SISTAZ had this fucked up look on our faces. STRESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i don't wanna get involve. i have ENOUGH on ma mind!!! GOD PLEASE HELP ME OUT.... enough is enough. SOMEONE, WHOM I LOVE VERY, VERY MUCH TALKED SOME SENSE INTO MA HEAD. i gotta thank her for that. i've been too lenient and soft to others. it's high time that i learn to be firm wit my decisions! ya man......been too quiet all the time. i swear to GOD that i'm gonna blow up one of these days. i'm not kiddin'!! GOD save the first person man. coz it's not gonna be a pretty sight. today is the last day of school. i'm kinda glad. i've planned to study and score well. n i can do it. i haven't been spending much time wit ma beloved familia... been puttin ma frends first...been neglecting mi familia. so, so, so sorry mama, boboy, kakak enny, nadya...... ya'll the only ones that i have till the end of time. luv ya'll very much. more than life itself. there's nothing like having a home. though it's been on da rocks, we pulled it through rite? i promise not to let ya'll down. i'll be good again. i'll try to cut down on smoking. mama...like u always say to me...if there's a will, there's a way... i'll never forget that. i'm gonna go shopping for ma speech presentation tmr. at town....where else.... and i'm gonna drop by starbucks raffles city. i'm gonna meet rockey tmr. yeay!!! well, this will help me forget ice.... actually, it's helping...it's kinda like a distraction for me.... do stuff... keep myself occupied. i'm gonna look for heels only. coz my cousin will be getting married in june. so might as well look for it now since i'm having ma speech presentation this monday. maybe a top tt's all.... need to budget myself.. haha.. aite, i'm gonna give tuition now. be nice! i've had enough wit everyone's shit!

my class was at 11am yesterday.. went to class for barely an hour as i received a call from my mom. she informed tt my maternal grand uncle passed away.... after tt call, i was finding ways to inform harvey, my lecturer. finally, i did. he let me off coz the burial was gonna be at 1pm. i rushed out took a bus there. i was in super casual wear.. i was the only one at the funeral dressing in that manner. well, usually if i need to attend a funeral, i'll be wearing baju kurung to show respect... but yesterday was kinda of sudden, i had no time to go home and change. i followed to the cemetry. after which, i went to plaza sing alone. i sat at STARBUCKS COFFEE and had caramel frappucino wit extra caramel topping. i sat there like a lost soul. but it did me something good. i started thinking...although i was depressed. every single moment came rushing back to ma head... but it's ova now..i've got to move on in life. my mom adviced me tt there's no point in being sad ova guys like him....eventhough it hurts a lot.... sha said we've got to learn the hard way in order to get something done right. oh ya btw, she told me to return him his okley shades. as it's not mine. well... i will...one fine day...hahaha!! i sat there till 630 pm, before my sis joined me..... but she left at 7 for class...then, i decided to visit rockey at her work place at raffles city. i chilled there till 930pm... my sista and her bf joined me again... we chilled at STARBUCKS RAFFLES CITY this time round. and there, he was, this cute young guy who served us! and i had my usual, caramel frappucino wit xtra caramel.... haha.. being her typical self, my sista purposely reminded the guy tt i wanted xtra caramel topping...n she added it's for this young sweet gal---she pointed towards me!! i was blushing. but yes, i have to agree that he is cute. well-mannered and all... i noe tt my sis was juz trying to help....all sha was trying to do is make me feel better. thank you sis...i was smiling all the way home. actually, surprisngly, it made my day. haha...it looks as though, i'll be hanging out there quite often.....haha....maybe, maybe not...we shall see. aite. that's all peeps. i need a break. maybe wash my eyes will do me good...haha at raffles city!!! cheers

All alone on a Sunday morning
Outside I see the rain is falling, whoa oh..
Inside I'm slowly dying
But the rain will hide my crying, crying, crying
And you
Don't you know my tears will burn the pillow
Set this place on fire
'Cause I'm tired of your lie
All I needed was a simple "Hello"
But the traffic was so noisy that you could not hear me cry
(I) I gave you my love in vain
My body never knew such pleasure,
My heart never knew such pain
And you, you leave me so confused...
Now I'm all cried out, over you

wat did i do today....well, i went to skool at noon. went for a smoke wit erin and a few of ma 3rd year seniors..... erin left for home and went for ma editing. ma mind wasn't at ease.. all i could think about was ice..... actually, i juz reached home.... haiz...this is da last week of skool... i have my last presentation for speech on monday.... i need to complete ma flash assignment for webc and ma marketing exam is on the 3rd of may...... it cuts like a knife... and ma heart is terribly hurt. he hasn't called yet...... GOD why must it be me....???????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i've gone through enough shit! what have i done to deserve all this crap??!! my darling you.....haiz....how could you do this to me? hurhur................................

hey...i haven't been updatin' ma blog for more than a month... well... wat can i say....i was busy wit skool and ma computer crashed. nway, i'm updatin' it now.... i'm kinda relieved now. ma med soc and bauhaus final projects are ova!! i should be happy rite...? don't ya peeps thinks so? but haiz......i can say tt ma life is screwed up at this point of time. everthin' is goin' not as planned... as for ma K SISTAZ, ya gals should know wat i'm talkin' about. fucked up!!!!!! i'm all cried out..... gals, i'm still hopn'..... this is so, so unfair......all i need in this life of sins is me n ma girlfriends, down to ride to da very end..is still me n ma girlfriends. i need a miracle. i can't get over da feelin'. i've never felt this way before... never, never!! guess wat, i'm playin' emo songs at this very moment as i'm typin' away. i feel that i don't deserve this shit at all. why should i? i'm juz so foolish as to give ma heart in vain. here we go again....erin will always say tt i'm naive.....n stuff...haiz... inoe i hv to move on but all i think about is him...i miss him...i am so tempted to holla him but....haiz... he's got a new life now.... it's been too long n i'm lost without you, what i'm gonna do, said i been needing you...i'm wanting you. i try not to cry...but it's juz so hard to hold back da tears.... i'm so confused and hurt....all i need is a simple hello....at least have da decency to holla me rite.. n not make me wait n wonder.